


Sizaan Mindol

by SerinaGreyson



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Adventure, Adventure & Romance, Amnesia, Angst, Dragonborn (Elder Scrolls), Eventual Romance, F/M, Modded Skyrim, Rape/Non-con Elements, Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:34:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23936182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerinaGreyson/pseuds/SerinaGreyson
Summary: "They say home is where the heart is..." I whispered, "If that's the case... my only home is up there."My eyes remained glued to the glittering night sky. The stars shining bright as they always did."I've spent my life looking up at the stars... Because they've never given me a reason to doubt them. They'll always be there. During the day you just can't see them. But they always come back." I continued, "I just... wish that were the case for my memories.""Perhaps it could be... If you did not forget to look down to see where the stars are leading you, Filkun." Miraak hummed.
Relationships: Female Dovahkiin | Dragonborn/Miraak
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Hello! This is my first story on this platform but it's also my first Skyrim story.. I'll admit I wasn't too sure about posting it yet. But I also have an interesting inspiration behind it. I Mod Skyrim quite a bit but I really enjoyed, Legacy of the Dragonborn, Vigilant and the Miraak follower mods. So I sort of threw all of it together in my head and came up with a hopefully interesting plot. So bear with me hehe. With that being said, I hope you all enjoy!

**Sizaan Mindol**

**Chapter 1 – Who Am I?**

_**My mind was a blur.** _

_**Where am I?** _

_**What’s going on?** _

_**I don’t know.** _

_**I had yet to discover the strange twists and turns my life was about to throw at me.** _

_**My past was lost, so it was difficult to picture any type of future.** _

The night sky was the first thing I saw. Beautiful glittering stars, and enamoring green lights dancing across the vast dark canvas.

_I can’t say I’ve ever seen anything this beautiful before…_

A cool breeze blew through the valley and I was suddenly aware of how cold it actually was. I hugged my arms to my chest and sat up, scanning my surroundings. There was nothing but empty valley and mountains around me.

_Where am I?_

The cold had started to sink into my bones and I couldn’t help but shiver. I was only in a shirt and pants and it was only getting colder as the night progressed. Unsure of anything, I decided to stand to my feet, which ended up being a huge mistake. There was an unbearable pain in my legs and stomach and I fell back to my knees.

_What’s wrong with me?_

I leaned up against a rock and just glanced back up at the stars. Hoping some type of knowledge would come to light. I didn’t know where to even begin comprehending the situation I was in.

_What… was I doing before?_

Nothing could come to mind. I almost gave myself a headache trying to remember anything before I woke up. I felt pretty helpless.

“Oh dear.” The sound of a horse pulling a carriage pulled me out of my thoughts, what little ones I had, and I saw an Altmer male approaching me.

“Miss, are you alright?” He inquired.

I shook my head, “I- I don’t think so.”

“What happened?” He raised his eyebrows in concern.

“I don’t know…” I sighed, “I just woke up and… here I am.”

“Is there anything you do remember?” He asked.

I tried as hard as I could to think, but my mind kept drawing a blank, so I shook my head.

“Nothing before you woke up?”

I shook my head again.

“What about your name? Surely you must know that.” He said.

“My name…” I hummed, looking back up at the stars I vainly tried to come up with something.

“Oh my…” He put a hand to his chin in thought, “This… really isn’t good.”

“Where… exactly are we anyway?” I asked.

At that point the poor man’s eyes nearly bulged out of his skull.

“You really mean to-…” He cut himself off and gave me an odd look of sympathy, “Well, you’re not too far from Solitude. I was just on my way back. You can come with me if you’d like, perhaps a priest at the Temple of the Eight could provide some helpful insight.”

“You’re willing to help me?” I tilted my head, “You don’t even know me.”

“Well… I don’t necessarily want to leave you alone out here… Skyrim can be unforgiving to those who travel alone.” The Altmer spoke.

“Evidently…” I mumbled.

He chuckled and offered me his hand. I took it and stood to my feet again, this time a bit slower. The pain, though, was still there. I winced and nearly fell over again, but I was lucky to have been caught this time.

“You poor thing.” He gave a much more worried glance that time, insinuating that I had been through quite the ordeal. I really wish I knew why he was expressing so much pity. I also wish I knew why I didn’t like it that much. It made me feel rather small and I was having an issue with that. But I chose not to voice it.

He helped me up onto the cart in the driver’s seat next to him. It took me a moment to find a comfortable position but I was quick to start shivering again the second we started moving. The wind decided to pick up a touch more.

“If you’re cold, my cloak is in the back. Just behind you.” The elf smiled, “Use it to bundle up if you’d like.”

I took him up on his offer and secured the cloak around my shoulders.

“Thank you…” I mumbled, “I really didn’t know what I was going to do…”

“I’m happy to help,” He smiled, “I’m Auryen Morellus by the way.”

I returned the smile, “It’s very nice to meet you Auryen.”

“I do wish I knew what to call you though.” Auryen said. I returned my gaze to the stars and sighed.

“I wish I knew what to call me too.”

He hummed and glanced up at the sky as well.

“You seem to like the stars quite a bit.” He said, “Do you mind if I call you Celeste for now? It is one of many names used for stars.”

“I guess that works, until I figure everything out that is.” I shrugged, “Celeste for now it is.”

We were apparently only an hour’s ride away from Solitude, and Auryen was quick to take me to the Temple and diagnose my problem. Only then, did I realize how dry my throat was.

As the priest examined me, his facial expression changed a number of times. Mostly to a worried or confused one. It was making me nervous.

“Where did you find her again?” the Priest asked.

“She was in the valley alone, not too far from here.” Auryen said.

“She’s certainly got quite the interesting case. It’s definitely amnesia, and an extremely serious case if she doesn’t even know her own name.” The Priest explained, “But what catches my attention here the most is how young she is… she’s only sixteen and she possesses quite a bit of magicka. But her eyes lead me to believe she was turned into a vampire.”

“A… what? Was she bitten?” Auryen’s eyes widened.

“No, that’s what makes this whole case interesting. I think something else turned her. But we can’t be certain what actually happened to her until she remembers everything herself.” The Priest continued, “It’s unfortunately up to her, and her alone to remember her past. To find things that may remind her of who she used to be.”

“What’s my best way of going about that?” I inquired, “How do I know what to look for?”

“Amnesia isn’t an easy thing to deal with, my dear, but you will indeed know when a memory of your past comes back to you. All I can tell you is to keep your eye open for anything familiar. With your surroundings of course, but also take note of how you respond to certain situations and different feelings you experience. Those are all keys to who you really are. It’ll all come back to you.” He said, “But it may also take a bit of time.”

“What about… the erm.. nocturnal part.” Auryen asked.

“That… now… I would recommend keeping that as quiet as you can so as not to raise any concerns. But.. I don’t fear that she will be a problem.” The Priest finished, “I have a strong feeling that this one is different.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooooo! So, these first couple chapters are a touch short, and I apologize. But the further I get into the plot the more I'll be able to hopefully bust out longer chapters.   
> So without further ado, enjoy my dear readers. :3

**Chapter 2 – A Fresh Start**

Auryen led me from the Temple of the Eight to a rather large building just down the road from the Blue Palace. As we walked there, he started to teach me everything I needed to know of Skyrim and the vast history of the land. Apparently, there was a lot to learn, and I found myself becoming more and more interested in it.

He led me through a set of double doors and into a large empty front room. Further in the back, of the room, there was a staircase and lining all of the walls seemed to be empty displays of some sort.

“What is this place?” I inquired, scanning the large area.

“This is where I live. It’s not much yet, but one day I hope to have it full of ancient, historical artifacts from all across Tamriel.” Auryen smiled, “A museum of sorts. Where people can come to learn of the wonders of the world.”

“That sounds incredible.” I smiled.

“It’s heavily in the works though. I’m still lacking what a museum needs most… Artifacts.” He sighed, “Anyway, let me show you where you can rest your head.”

He led me to the left and down a small stairwell into a small room with a couple of beds in it. Presumably a future staff bedding area.

“Now… you can stay here at the museum with me until we get you acclimated to everything. The only thing I’m worried about is..” he put a hand to his chin in thought.

“My being a vampire.” I finished his sentence.

“Erm… yes… I don’t know how we’re going to sustain you.” He sighed, “One can’t go around attacking people.”

I thought on it for a moment and glanced at my feet.

“Well… Who says I have to feed on people?” I asked.

Auryen shot me a questioning glance, but seemed to catch on to my thought process rather quickly.

“I see…” He hummed, “You don’t think you’ll lose control and attack someone?”

“I… don’t really see why I would want to… Why attack someone if they haven’t done anything to me?” I shrugged.

“Well then, if you can manage to avoid that then you should be able to blend in just fine.” Auryen smiled, “Anyway, tomorrow I’ll give you a grand tour of the whole gallery. But for now, you should get some rest. You’ve had a long night.

I nodded, “Thank you again, Auryen.”

“Don’t mention it. I have some research that I’ll need to be doing, so if you need anything, come and find me in my office.” He said, “It’s just upstairs and down the hall.”

With that, he left me to my somewhat less empty mind. I laid down on one of the beds and turned over to my side, exhaling a heavy breath.

I was still lost. But I felt an odd sense of dread and sorrow wash over me. There was so much of myself that was missing. There were so many questions on my mind.

_Who am I? Where am I from? Did I have any family?_

That was a question the priest had asked me back at the temple. It was one of all of the questions I didn’t have an answer to.

_If I have any family… are they wondering where I am? Am I alone? Is there anyone out there who knows me? Anyone… who could help me?_

With being as clueless as I was, it felt as though I were experiencing the feeling for the first time. At the time, damn near everything was foreign to me.

To be entirely honest… I was terrified.

_What do I do now?_

I didn’t have an answer to that yet, and because of that, I spiraled deeper into my thoughts. As I did, something familiar hit me.

_What is this… fear?_

I’d been this scared before. But I still didn’t have my answer as to what caused that fear, and that scared me even more. The fact that I didn’t know anything terrified me beyond belief. With that fear, came a small realization, though.

_I’ve been afraid of the unknown before… but if I keep being scared like this I won’t get anywhere._

Even if I didn’t gain any type of actual memory, I managed to remind myself that fear is natural… but apparently that fear isn’t a weakness to me as it is to many others. I must have used it to my advantage somehow. After all, even in the dark of night, there are still stars to light the way.

_Wait…_

_“Even in the darkest times… there is always a silver lining. Sometimes it’s hard to find. But it’s there.”_

I couldn’t place where it came from. But I clung onto it. I held onto it and I didn’t plan to let go anytime soon. It was all I had at the moment, but it wasn’t nothing.

It was my silver lining.

Sleep evaded me entirely that night, so I decided to locate Auryen in his office. Sure enough, he was at his desk scribbling notes down in a journal. I stood next to his desk and he kept at his writing.

“What is it you’re working on?” I asked.

Auryen’s gaze snapped over to me and he let out a relieved chuckle.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to startle you.” I shrank into myself.

“Oh, it’s quite alright.” He smiled, “I’m just not used to having company. It’ll just take some time for both of us to adjust.”

“This is true.” I nodded, “Anyway, you really had my attention earlier with your idea for the museum.”

“Really now?” He raised an eyebrow at me, “There is quite a bit I can teach you. And, I could use the some help around the Gallery.”

“Well, seeing as how I just have to take things as they come… I have the time.” I smiled.

“We might just be able to work something out then.” Auryen smiled.

So, as soon as we had the opportunity, I got started learning absolutely anything and everything I could about the history of Skyrim, ancient legends, artifacts and ruins. I found a particular fascination with Dragons and life when they were still alive, and the Dragon Priests even caught my fancy. I did everything I could to be well versed in what I needed to help Auryen with his work.

In what felt like no time, I was starting to feel at least comfortable with the idea of roaming around without sticking out like a sore thumb. I was able to start off anew…

For the time being.

Little did I know, times were in for a rather drastic change in the next few years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty! So, I'm at least at the point now where I can move time forward a bit. I'm sorry for the slow intro to things but I promise stuff will start getting interesting soon... I hope. 
> 
> Anyway! I hope ya'll enjoyed and if you'd like leave a comment! I'm happy to hear your thoughts so far! Even though things are kinda turtle pace for chappies 1 and 2.
> 
> Soon... I shall have ch 3. Until then, have a lovely morning/ afternoon/ evening!!! :D


	3. As Time Goes On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I hope you're all enjoying the story thus far! Sorry for the slight gap inbetween chapters, I had a tiny case of writer's block. But! I am fairly happy with the progression in this one. 
> 
> SO! Without further ado, enjoy my lovely readers. :D

**Chapter 3 – As Time Goes On**

**Six Years Later**

A lot has happened between the time Auryen found me and now. After he taught me as much as he could about Tamriel’s history, I took to spending hours on end in the Gallery library teaching myself what he didn’t. I was lucky to have adapted fairly well to my new life, but my memories still avoided me. I had no luck in that category yet.

So, in the meantime, Auryen and I have worked out a partnership where he maintains the Gallery and I go out to locate certain historical artifacts to put on display. We thought that if I manage to get out and travel that it might help jog my memory somehow.

All I’ve managed to discover is my love for discovering new places and diving into the history of it all for myself. It was one thing to read about certain places, but I found something much more exciting about being there. If I couldn’t learn anything about myself, I wanted to learn everything I could about anything else.

I was on my way to Helgen for an artifact that was put on hold for the Gallery. As I trudged up the long path, something caught my attention.

Large plumes of smoke billowed out of the town’s walls. My pace quickened and I shoved the gate open. The town was in ruins. Homes were destroyed and still on fire, and the wall bordering the town was crumbling. The air was cloudy and thick with smoke, so I pulled my scarf over my nose to prevent myself from breathing in too much… Fire and I don’t get along.

As I combed through the town trying to find any clue to what had destroyed everything, a deep growl made me halt in my tracks. I didn’t recognize that sound either, whatever made it was massive.

Cautiously, I turned my head to find myself being stared down by a large, black… Dragon?

For a moment I questioned what I was seeing, but I soon felt an overwhelming shift of energy around me. It took me a moment to realize that that energy I felt was coming from the creature in front of me.

I scanned the area for any means of escape. An uneasy feeling grew in the pit of my stomach, and it was fairly obvious he wasn’t going to let me leave. My gaze locked on to the keep in the center of town. It wasn’t an unreasonable distance for me to run, but I had no idea how fast this thing was.

Once more, I locked eyes with the dragon. His red eyes were filled with anger. I needed to think and act as quickly and reasonably as I could, and yet my thoughts were swimming.

_‘I know.. stranger things have happened, but what in Oblivion is going on?!’_

My heart pounded in my chest and I sucked in a deep breath. The Dragon took to the skies and circled above the town. His sight never left me. I had no option but to take the risk and run to the keep.

A deafening roar urged my legs to run even faster than I thought humanely possible. Behind me, I could hear him getting closer, the wind from his wings blew the scarf off my face as I pushed the door open.

Even though I knew it may not stop him, I latched the door and sprinted into the back of the room. The dragon crashed into the door and I scrambled through the gate and down the stairs, deeper into the keep.

I found myself in what looked like a torture room, and attempted to regain my bearings.

“That was a dragon…” I breathed, even though the only person listening was myself, “A real dragon…”

There was no going back the way I came, so I was stuck with no other choice but to find a different way out. I pressed forward through the keep, which led to a long cave system infested with frostbite spiders.

Eventually, I made it out of the caves and back into the open nature of Skyrim, not too far from Helgen. There was another loud roar and I dove behind a rock out of sight. The dragon circled the area once or twice before taking off towards the mountains.

I exhaled a shaky breath and thought for a moment.

“So much for the artifact Auryen wanted… safe to assume that’s destroyed.” I sighed.

My next thought was of nearly being burned alive by something that was thought to have been dead for centuries. What was I supposed to do about that? Pretend it didn’t happen? I had no doubt that countless people could be in danger if something wasn’t brought to someone’s attention. Helgen was already destroyed, who knew what could have been next. 

I took it upon myself to go to Whiterun, where I thought it could be possible to warn the Jarl about what happened. At least bring the threat to his attention. It seemed like the best option, so I decided I’d return to the Gallery after I dealt with whatever was to come.

There were a lot of big changes going on as it was. The rebellion against the Empire, the Thalmor sticking their noses into the Empire’s dealings, and now dragons are no longer a thing of the past. My path to regaining my memories felt like it was growing longer… I just wanted to know how I found myself getting tangled up in this mess. I wanted to know more about how to resolve everything, with myself and with current events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the plot thickens... sort of... not quite yet, almost. I'm getting there hehehe. Also I apologize for the short chapter, I'm planning to have the next be longer, I just struggled finding a cutoff point for this one :/
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed though! I'm having a fun time writing this so do stay tuned for more if you'd like. :D  
> Have a lovely morning/evening/night everyone!

**Author's Note:**

> Okie dokie! Are ya hooked yet? Hehe, just kidding, but I do actually really hope you guys liked it and are interested in where it's going. I really appreciate feedback so feel free to leave a review. Just please be nice it's been a while since I've posted a story T.T 
> 
> Anywhozles! I hope you all stay tuned for what's to come and have a wonderful day/night/morning or whatever time you be reading this :) - Serina


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